Dawn Heartbreak (Speechless)

For some unknown reasons, I awoke at 1am today. As usual, I reached for my phone even before I get up. And that, I realized, was a grave mistake for it ruined my entire day in a snap.


There was this guy who was in the euphoric stage of love with me. I can't say I don't like him because I find his efforts (and physique) cute (and attractive). My hopes to him went TOO high which was I realized this dawn, as a stupid one. He failed my test of faithfulness, I let it pass. He "unintentionally" hurt me, I didn't mind. He retreated from our deal, that I can't let go. So I, indirectly, said goodbye to him just to see his reaction. And I just felt the feeling I hate the most--disappointment.


Days and weeks passed without communication until I decided to give him a call before sleeping but again, he didn't answer it so I called it a night. And this dawn, as I read the texts messages I received last night as I sleep, I came across one that came from him. He apologized for not being able to answer my call last night. I was about to exhale a sigh of relief when I read the signature of his text. It read "love.zero.six... -Rhon-Jhane."


I knew I jump into conclusion right after without even asking him what does that mean. But  I am not that naive to not get the heartbreaking news. For those weeks that we didn't communicate, he found a GIRLFRIEND! The latter broke my heart. Yes, he disappoint me. Yes, there was no hope for the two of us to be US. Yes, (I think) he doesn't love me that much. Yes, I knew from the start that he doesn't mean his promises. Yes, I knew he was just in euphoria. But I cannot deny the fact that knowing he found a girlfriend in just few weeks, wrecked my heart. I cannot deny the fact that I was once again, left hanging. Yes, he loves me . . . but just to that extent.


And there I was, unable to go back to sleep and singing a Lady Gaga song that I recently came to love--Speechless.  it goes like this...


I can't believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I'll never talk again
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

And I'll never love again,
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

I can't believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can't believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He's gonna get you and after he's through
There's gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it's complicated
But I'm a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I'll never talk again
Oh boy you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless so speechless

I'll never love again,
Oh friend you've left me speechless
You've left me speechless, so speechless

How?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
Wow

Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?
Wow

And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we've been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise boy to you
That I'll never talk again
And I'll never love again
I'll never write a song
Won't even sing along

I'll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You've left me speechless so speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose "death and company"
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh